Monday Medley

What we read while getting nostalgic about driving the New York State Thruway in the Summer of ’69: Two months ago, John S wrote about the unclear future of television; this week, Slate did the same thing. WITH NO HAT TIP! All we want is an apology, our 75 cents back, and for Seth Stevenson [...]

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Ranking the Bill of Rights, Number 5: The 6th Amendment

We have made it to the Top Five! I never thought we would see this day.* Nevertheless, we are here. *This line is almost entirely for rhetorical flourish. I was fairly certain at the start of these rankings that we would reach number five. The 6th Amendment reads: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall [...]

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Ranking the Old Testament!

The Bible is perhaps the most misunderstood book ever written. Perhaps. But don’t worry, I’ve slogged my way through it (took five years) and have decided to give you the Tim’s Notes version.* It will be clear, concise, and devoid of moral judgment; in other words, the exact opposite of the Bible. *”Tim’s Notes” is [...]

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What Common Human Behavior Will be Viewed as Mistaken in 100 Years?

I’ve heard a variant of this question posed many a time, most recently by John S. If you look back at any slice of history, there were certain human behaviors, beliefs, and institutions that are now viewed as obviously wrong. Slavery, racism, and geocentrism are a few examples.* What is next? *These examples are generally [...]

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Funky Winkerbean: The Comics’ Most Interesting Failure

This* is not an unusual strip of Funky Winkerbean—the bane of the “funny pages.” Funky Winkerbean is not a funny comic strip, and it isn’t a particularly good one. I do not read it with any kind of regularity. In spite of, or maybe even because of, these reasons, though, Funky Winkerbean is by far [...]

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What Happened to the Baseball Card?

Through the 1990s, elementary school cafeterias across the country were pervaded with ambitious young children frantically flipping through multiple binders full of baseball cards. Many children also had the Beckett Baseball Price Guide, which listed the value of virtually every card and was often consulted during a trade to determine whether one was about to [...]

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The Roast of Joan Rivers

Comedy Central aired the Roast of Joan Rivers on Sunday, so NPI Roast connoiseurs  John S and newcomer F.P. Santangelo (not related to the former Montreal Expo) sat down to discuss it: John S: The Joan Rivers Roast wasn’t the best roast Comedy Central has ever done, or the worst; at this point the franchise [...]

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The Thank You Note

I recently had a party in my honor. Such parties are fun. But the aftermath of those parties is frequently not. And as much of a drag as cleaning up can be, nothing is as draining as the Thank You Note. Whoever came up with the Thank You Note was likely a well-meaning guy (or [...]

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The Sports Revolution: Match Play NASCAR

Let me set the scene for you: it’s Lap 97 of 250 in a NASCAR race, and a whole lot of cars are moving counter-clockwise in an oval, with some stopped getting gas. And nobody is watching on television. Let me reset the scene for you: it’s Lap 9 of 10 in a NASCAR race, [...]

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When to Honk

“I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn, because people honk the car horn too much. 3 honks, that’s the limit. And then someone cuts you off, ffffft, you press your horn, nothing happens. You’re like, “shit! I wish I wouldn’t have seen Ricky on the sidewalk!” -Mitch Hedberg [...]

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