Archive for July 20th, 2010

MLB Midseason Bonanza: The National League

So John S was all like, “When are you gonna criticize your MLB predictions? You’re just gonna hang me out to dry?” And I came back with, “You call that a criticism? I call that a hearty pat on the back you did.” To which John replied, “Yeah, well, you got a lot more wrong than I did.”*

*Dramatization. May not have happened.

Alas, my re-evaluation of my pre-season predictions in the National League won’t be headlined by What I Got Right so much as What I Got Wrong, and Often Very Wrong. That being said, I totally got three of the eventual playoff teams from the NL, and I’m sticking to that.

NL WEST

What I Got Completely Wrong

I had the Padres winning 64 games all season; they will surpass that total if they go 11-60 the rest of the season. I specifically mocked the fact that Jon Garland was San Diego’s Opening Day starter. Garland is 9-6 with a 3.45 ERA, and the Padres have the best ERA in the Major Leagues. Mat Latos was a legitimate Cy Young candidate before he failed to sneeze the other day. Their bullpen, boasting former Mets Mike Adams and Heath Bell, is phenomenal.

But, the Padres aren’t making the playoffs. Bank on it.

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Open Letter to Fans from Raptors Majority Owner

Dear Toronto and All Toronto Raptors Fans, Regardless of Your Present Location;

As you may have heard, our former “hero” Chris Bosh went to Miami after a prolonged, egotistical campaign played out mainly through his let’s-be-honest boring Twitter account.

I want you to know that I, like you, am not in any way devastated by this decision. In fact, I’m not even mad. I’m pretty cool with how it all went down.

I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE TORONTO RAPTORS WILL NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS WITHOUT CHRIS, JUST AS WE DIDN’T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN FIVE OF THE SEVEN SEASONS WITH CHRIS!

Furthermore, I’m very confident that our newest first-round pick, Ed Davis, can fill Chris’s shoes, since, like Chris, Ed was unable to lead his team to the NCAA Tournament.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day.

SERIOUSLY!

Your owner,

Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, Ltd.

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