The Opening Remarks of a Newly Hired Manager Who Was Promptly Fired after His Opening Remarks

“Our primary weapon as a pitching staff, and as a team overall, will be the indiscriminate use of the pitchout. I know, it’s unorthodox, but therein lies its efficacy. We will never be afraid to pitch out. We will pitch out regardless of the batter, the baserunner, the count, the situation. We will pitch out with two strikes, we will pitch out with three balls. We will pitch out with the bases loaded. We will pitch out when no one is on. Our goal is to befuddle hitters into never being sure when a pitch is going to be in and when it is going to be out. We will, in this manner, revolutionize the game of baseball.”

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by james Schneider on August 29, 2010 at 11:06 PM

    Wait, what? Is this real? I don’t get it.

    Reply

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