Archive for September 22nd, 2010

Survivor Survival Guide: “How to Make Fire with a Coconut”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want another girl to win. We already get owned in marriage. Pretty soon, we’ll have a woman president. A guy needs to sack up, and we need to win this one.”

–Shannon (who is a guy)

Let’s face facts: The first episode of a Survivor season is never any good. There’s way too many people with way too many names explaining the same tried-and-true Survivor principles. Fire is important. I’d like to make an alliance or two, but I don’t want to be overaggressive. Being a leader requires a deft touch this early in the game so as not to become a target. Survivor is really hard. I don’t even want the million dollars.

Okay, so the last one is new this season, and it comes from the biggest star the series has ever been able to nab: Former NFL head coach Jimmy Johnson. Johnson’s appearance on Survivor is, going in, easily the most interesting reason to watch this iteration of the show. Johnson, to me a shocking 66 years old, was fairly easily recognized by most of the castaways,* and he came clean early, saying he was there for the adventure and not the money — which his tribemates did not believe.

*The last thing I wanted was a weird, “Nobody recognizes me???” plot.

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