Jacob Marley’s Initial Reaction to “Saving” Ebenezer Scrooge

No, I’ve just got one question: What the hell, man? Why him and not me? Why was it all cool for me to proceed uninterrupted into this nightmare of chains, but oh, we can’t bear to let poor old Ebenezer rot in the same way? What has he done to earn redemption that I didn’t do, except live longer and torment more people? Seriously, it was Scrooge & Marley. His name went first! He was the alpha miser! Why does no one else see the hypocrisy in this??? Where were you Ghost of Christmas Past when my salvation hung in the balance? Ghost of Christmas Present, you couldn’t slip by the old Marley homestead eight years ago and say, “Hey Jacob, might want to not carry out that eviction on that orphanage tomorrow. Keep doing stuff like that, and you’ll end up damned eternally, if you know what I mean.” And Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come, you could have shown me an image of this blooming farce and I would’ve altered my worldview real quick. All it would have taken was a bloody hour for each of you! One hour! But no, what was the money a little tight that year, so you cut back—“no saving anyone this year”? Were you down in Whitechapel saving some whore you sanctimonious chokers? No, I’m not done. Am I wrong in wanting a blasted explanation? Am I that off base in wondering why I have to help that miserable magsman when none of you saw fit to throw a little counsel my way?

Go to hell!

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