A Salute to Flag Day

Today is Flag Day. Flag Day is my favorite joke holiday (as I’ve implied before), edging out Arbor Day and Columbus Day. But watching the World Cup has, among other things, instilled in me a new appreciation for the United States flag.

It is really cool.

It is SO much better than most any other flag. Most flags are just three colors arranged in boring rows or boring columns. Some aren’t even smart enough to come up with a third color (I’m looking at you, Poland).* African nations are often creative enough only to add a star and/or a crescent moon on a backdrop of 2-3 colors. Japan’s flag is a red circle.** I mean, come ON. Although I suppose that’s better than Argentina’s anthropomorphized sun. Or Canada’s leaf. And Mexico: Last I checked, the eagle was kind of our thing. Nice try, though. England? Please, the flag I and everyone I know associate with England (this one) isn’t the one they actually use over there (this one). I’m the religious one on this blog and even I think modeling a flag after St. George’s Cross is a bit much. Besides, way to not differentiate yourself from every other country in northern Europe.

*–Okay, we’ve got red and white. We just need one more, guys.


–We already have red.


–Already have white.

–Well, I’m stumped.

–Yeah, two’s good enough.

**I recently wondered if I would respect the Japanese flag more or less if the circle were orange–you know, like an actual sun. I concluded that I’d respect the flag more, but the nation less. Don’t ask for details.

America, we’ve got Old Glory, the good old Stars and Stripes. A stripe for every colony and a star for every state. Red for courage, white for purity, and blue for…blue for…water? We do have a lot of water. Whatever, the blue is cool, too. The point is, the American flag is great, better than any flag outside of the Seychelles and maybe Brazil.

On this Flag Day, I salute the American flag, and the noble words of Nelson Muntz.

“So burn that flag if you must!  But before you do, you’d better burn a few other things!  You’d better burn your shirt and your pants!  Be sure to burn your TV and car!  Oh yeah, and don’t forget to burn your house! Because none of those things would exist without six red stripes, seven red stripes, and a helluva lot of stars!”

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by skinneejay on June 16, 2010 at 2:01 PM

    I thought I was the only one who viewed flags as some sort of artform. Personally, I love South Africa’s flag. It’s very stylish. I also agree that the Seychelles got great flags


  2. Funny!
    I like your blog, really. The eagle depicted in Mexico’s flag is a mexican species (not that you are going to care apparently 🙂 and Im cool with that). You do know that England is one country right? and that the red cross with the blue background represents the ENTIRE UK that is England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, each of which has its own flag. I do agree, however that most nations could have made a far better job designing their flags. Take Romania for instance, where I used to live for quite a while, after the commies where overthrown they took out a nice historical symbol (which, ehem, also had an eagle) from the center, now there are three columns (blue, yellow and red) which makes it just the same, identical, to the one from Chad!
    Mexican flag is cool in its design and symbol. The eagle eating a snake while standing on a cactae? part of a legend about the foundation of our land in ancient prehispanic times. I have to admit that the US flag (i respectfuly refuse to call your country “America”) has a cool design too.



  3. Posted by Tom on June 23, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    I’m pretty sure the flag for Kiribati is just what you get when you type “K” in MS Word when using the Webdings 3 font.



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