Happy Presidents’ Day!

: you know what bothers me?

: womens basketball coaches’ inability to properly discern when to foul in the final minute of a close game?

: besides that

: the fact that president’s day is one holiday instead of being two like it should be?


kind of

not quite

but close

: not at all

: it’s related to today’s holiday

and grammar

: ?

: you made the mistake yourself…

: im not guessing

: its presidents’ day

not president’s day

we shortchange the multitude of presidents

: is it really shortchanging them?

do they all really deserve a holiday?

thats really what presidents day should be

like a rotating basis of presidents — one for each year


: and it would only be a holiday based off whether the president really deserved it or not?

in taylor’s case, i think not

: nah, it’d be a personal thing

like, “you celebrating this year?”

“james knox polk? hell no, i had family die in the mexican-american war!”

“you better not celebrate either”

“solidarity, man”

: id celebrate polk

say what you will about the mexican-american war, it was pretty good for america

: totally didnt deserve to beat clay

id love to take off for henry clay day

: who would you celebrate? wheres the line?

: you mean aside from the main ones?

: theres washington and lincoln obvs

who else?

: i mean, im for a day off for pretty much any reason

its prob easier to say who i wouldnt celebrate it for

: who besides polk?

: bush

id work on a sunday to avoid celebrating a george bush day

: would that be a tandem day?

for the two of them?

or would we have to do george h.w. bush day one year and george w. bush day the next?

: why would it necessarily be the next year?

: i figured it would be alphabetical

: why would you assume that? the list would constantly change

well, constantly, every four or eight years

: you want to go chronologically?

: no

thats boring

i want a presidents day lottery

: when?

: in an ideal system, it would replace christmas

: and the lottery would consist of?

: idk

names in a hat?

: one of those uncle sam hats!

: sure why not

: and it could be drawn in reverse!

like, your name gets picked, and you’re out of the running

and whoever is broadcasting it

(it would be broadcast, right?)

: on all the major networks

: yeah, they could put all the presidents along the side of the screen deal or no deal style

itd be a great educational tool for kids

theyd finally learn the presidents

: jackson

i wouldnt celebrate andrew jackson

: something you and nicholas biddle have in common

: among other things

: how do you feel about william henry harrison?

: he didnt do anything to upset me

: he didnt have time

: yeah, but the burden of proof is the other way

like, he has to do something bad for me not to take the day off

i dont want to go to work

: yeah, plus its very easy to remember his exact tenure in office

march 4, 1841 to april 4, 1841

: to be fair, most presidents’ dates in office are easy to remember

bush — jan 20, 2001 to jan 20, 2009


: touche

: are bush and jackson it?

: im sure there are others

: nixon?

: id consider john adams

the alien and sedition acts were pretty heinous

: id be against buchanan

did nothing to stop the civil war

: that was a tough draw, though

: lincoln had it worse

: that was lincoln

you gonna penalize buchanan for not being lincoln?

lincoln’s like a four-day weekend in this scenario

everyone will be rooting for lincoln in the lottery

it’d be like an extra spring break

: he’d be the million dollar case

: id be excited for calvin coolidge day, too

id honor him by being as tight-lipped as possible

: id celebrate warren harding day by playing oblivious to the sudden wealth displayed by my cabinet members

: its too bad this system doesnt open the door for albert fall day

aptly named figure

id be up for martin van buren day

he got blamed for too much with jackson

: plus he was really short

: i wish, just once, i could have a martin van buren conversation without a reference to his height

: yeah, and taft wishes we didnt talk about his weight

id like woodrow wilson day

id be all idealistic and propose things that could never actually happen

: like this entire scenario?

: like people remembering the apostrophe belongs after the s

One response to this post.

  1. Posted by John S on February 20, 2012 at 9:00 PM

    It has come to my attention that the actual name of this holiday is Washington’s Birthday. So this whole conversation is even more pointless than it was originally….


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