*“Major” defined as being either federally recognized or nationally celebrated.
Yesterday was the Great American Bacchanalia known as Flag Day. If, for some reason, you did not attend a Flag Day parade in the morning, host a Flag Day barbecue in the evening, sit beside the Flag Day tree in the evening, and go to bed underneath the Star of Flag Day, then you are not alone: I, too, was not aware that yesterday was Flag Day until this morning.
Anyway, as the title promised, here are the three major holidays that often come and go without me being aware that they happened:
Last year Tim wrote an ode to the American flag. While I have nothing against the flag, per se, I have no idea why this is an American holiday. In fact, if someone asked me why America even has a flag, I would not be able to give an intelligent answer. This is the best explanation I’ve seen for the existence of flags:
Arbor Day, if you didn’t already know, is always the last Friday in April. So if you want to make your coworkers feel guilty the following Monday, when they asked what you did over the weekend, you should say, “I was planting trees for Arbor Day, weren’t you?”
As a former Jew, this one is pretty bad, but there have been at least three years where I was not aware Hanukkah had begun until like the sixth day. At some point growing up, my parents decided that we were too old to get presents, which of course eliminated any motivation to keep track of the Jewish calendar. Can’t we just make it December 16-23 every year? It can be like an appetizer for Christmas that way, which is basically what is now.