“I would have never thought I’d see the day when the only person to really have my back was my worst enemy… but she’s got me.” —Cara Maria
Why’s everyone been acting so messed up towards Cara Maria?
Last night was the final female elimination before the final challenge, so everyone was probably a little on edge, but Cara Maria ended up taking the brunt of it.
The episode started with the mob questioning Laurel’s loyalty, given her recent closeness with C.T.* As a result, Kenny/Wes were thinking putting them second in the order for the next the challenge. As Johnny Bananas** put it, “How would you feel if we were fraternizing with the enemy?” But when Cara Maria pointed out that it’s not only Laurel who was doing some treasonous fraternizing, but also Jenn (who seems to be getting more serious about Adam)—well, that kind of evenhanded logic has no place on the Challenge. Rather predictably, Jenn did not react well, but the argument was quickly quelled when Cara Maria agreed to go second.
*I continue to wonder why the cast talks about C.T. like he’s a million times worse than Hitler. He seems no more despicable than anyone else on this show…
**Johnny Bananas, by the way, is absurdly suing Entourage for including the name “Johnny Bananas” on its current season. I never thought I’d end up siding with Entourage in a legal dispute, but…
Of course, the whole order discussion ended up being moot, since this challenge did not really require an order. Instead, the teams went in two heats, with one teammate firing a giant fire hose at the other, who was hanging from ropes over the water. The idea was propel your teammate back so that the ropes were cut by a blade behind them—whoever dropped first would win.
While there was some appeal to having the rivals pummel each other with water—Kenny was particularly fond of this challenge—it once again eliminated any issues the pairs might have working together. Which, I must repeat myself, is the whole point of the rivals concept in the first place. In the first heat, C.T. knocked Adam down rather quickly, but poor Cara Maria ended up stuck hanging for the full 20 minutes, before being disqualified. In the second heat, Johnny/Tyler were even quicker than Adam/C.T. had been, and Evelyn/Paula put the rest of the girls to shame. Their win won them immunity from the final girls Jungle, and clinched them a spot in the final challenge.
Unfortunately for Cara Maria, though, nobody else DQed, meaning she and Laurel would have to go into the Jungle. On the bus back from the challenge, Cara Maria and Laurel were discussing who they’d want to face in the Jungle,* and when Cara Maria suggested that maybe Jenn not get a free ride all the way to the final… well, that was another strike against her, even when Cara Maria immediately dropped the thought and voted for Jasmine/Jonna to face them.
*Why do people speak so openly on the bus even though EVERYONE ELSE CAN HEAR THEM? This is the source of a fight at least once a season.
By the time the group went out drinking and Cara Maria erroneously said that Adam and Jenn had slept together… well the shit hit the fan. Jenn and Cara Maria got into a screaming match that Jenn was still angry over the next morning. She even treated to rest of the house to the gruesome murder scenes she was imagining over breakfast! With Jenn so strongly against Cara Maria—and Jenn being the well-liked veteran—the entire house turned on Cara Maria/Laurel. Even C.T. was wearing blue, Jasmine/Jonna’s team color, to the Jungle, much to Laurel’s dismay (the only holdout was Kenny, whose loyalty to Laurel outweighs popular opinion—what a classy guy).
The only bright spot in all this for Cara Maria/Laurel was that, much like Zoolander and Hansel, they were brought together by being on the outskirts. By the end of last night’s episode the former enemies seemed like each other’s only friend. That new closeness gave them strength heading into the Jungle. Also giving them strength in the Jungle: Laurel’s strength. The Jungle challenge was the same one that Davis/Tyrie lost on way back in Week 2, where each pair had to force the other out of a circle. There was simply no way that a team with the diminutive Jasmine was going to beat a team with the Amazonian Laurel in such a physical challenge.
Now, before we rank, can someone please explain to me why C.T.’s conception of Buenos Aires involves “clowns in dog suits” and “dogs in clown suits”?
I will miss Jonna. Jasmine… not so much.
7. Leroy/Michael (-1): The last rookies left, but at least Michael and Paula finally made out.
6. Kenny/Wes (-2): I would have liked to see why Wes agreed to let Kenny shoot water at him.
5. Jenn/Mandi (+2): I’m really starting to hate Jenn this season.
4. Cara Maria/Laurel (-2): Can Cara Maria stand up to the mental strain without Abram around to help her?
3. Adam/C.T. (-1): Why did C.T. turn on Laurel so quickly? Probably because he realized that Laurel’s game loyalties were not to his team.
2. Evelyn/Paula (+3): These two are kind of under the radar at this point. They’re both normally sources of drama, but this season they’re barely there.
1. Johnny/Tyler (+1): Yet another win for these two puts them back on top.