The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, and the streets will run red with Christmas decorations…
Christmas is awful. Christmas is the worst. Christmas is evil in calendrical form. If the Devil were real, he’d look upon all that is Christmas, smile, and say, “Nice.” There is nothing good about Christmas.
Why is Christmas so terrible? Well, its badness probably cannot be adequately described in human language, but let’s try. For one, Christmas combines two of the worst things in the world: religion and consumerism. At Christmas, people are encouraged to buy a bunch of stuff they don’t need in order to celebrate the birth of a god that doesn’t exist.
But Christmas does something special: Religion and commerce, such potent forces for evil when considered separately, combine with such insidious synergy that they produce a holiday far more nefarious than the sum of its parts. It’s not merely that people spend money and believe in God during the “Christmas season”—which now apparently begins shortly before Halloween—since people do these things all year long. It’s that each of these things brings out the worst in the other. Continue reading
What we read while wondering what it’d be like if we’d never been born…
John S explained why he hates Christmas last year (and the year before that), but it’s all still true:
It probably doesn’t come as much of a shock to you to hear that I hate Christmas: For one, I like hating things that are popular. More substantively, though, Christmas combines two of my least favorite things in the world: religion and consumerism. At Christmas, people are encouraged to buy a bunch of stuff that they don’t need in order to celebrate the birth of a god that doesn’t exist. Continue reading
Yesterday was Flag Day?
*“Major” defined as being either federally recognized or nationally celebrated.
Yesterday was the Great American Bacchanalia known as Flag Day. If, for some reason, you did not attend a Flag Day parade in the morning, host a Flag Day barbecue in the evening, sit beside the Flag Day tree in the evening, and go to bed underneath the Star of Flag Day, then you are not alone: I, too, was not aware that yesterday was Flag Day until this morning.
Anyway, as the title promised, here are the three major holidays that often come and go without me being aware that they happened: Continue reading