Posts Tagged ‘danielle dilorenzo’

Survivor Survival Guide: Loose Lips Sink Ships

“Are you with me or are you against me?”

“I’m against you, Russell.”

–Sandra

“Who invited Boston Rob to the party: Are you with me or are you against me?”

–Parvati

For the second time in this season of Survivor, we were coming off an explosive, landscape-shaking Tribal Council. Just as Russell’s earlier victory over Boston Rob, his decision to ax Danielle last week reshaped the final days of this season. And just like earlier, the episode after the big move couldn’t possibly live up to its predecessor.

Even with reduced expectations, “Loose Lips Sink Ships” was disappointing. You can even make a case it was the worst episode of the season; it was easily the least dramatic since at least the merger. It almost felt like an early-season episode. There was a long “Previously on Survivor” (if a justifiably long one; even I had forgotten there were two Tribals last week), they showed the entire theme song (you know it’s an action-packed episode when they skip the intro song), and they spent a lot of time on mundane camp stuff like treemail (I don’t know if you realized, but it was sponsored by Sprint) and Rupert’s inconsiderate late-night wood-chopping.

Continue reading

Survivor Survival Guide: The Sinking Ship

“I’m not fully in control of this game right now; me and Parvati are equally in control, and that makes me worried.” –Russell

“He’s getting outplayed by me AND DANIELLE at this point.” –Parvati on Russell

“Russell is insane.” –Danielle

Bravo, Survivor. You gave us an episode that matched this season’s earlier showdown between Boston Rob and Russell at a far more significant and usually predictable part of the season. And somehow, through two more immunity challenges that neither won, through another hunt for a hidden idol that neither found, and through two more tribals, Rupert and Colby are still standing.*

*This is especially astonishing in Colby’s case, considering he wasn’t even a member of the top alliance within the Heroes’ camp. I remember thinking how strange it was he even made it to the merge, and now he’s in the final six!

The episode started with the fallout from Candice’s betrayal of the Heroes in voting out Amanda last week. That left the Heroes down to two remaining members, Rupert and Colby, with the former describing Candice as “weak, pathetic, self-centered, and manipulative” before saying in almost Coach-speak, “Colby and I are on a stranded ship. There are no other heroes.”

Rupert then decided to go off on Russell at breakfast, calling him a “disgusting” human being who cared only for himself. Russell naturally didn’t back down, and the two digressed into a much-beeped argument that didn’t really go anywhere.*

*This episode had about as much cursing as any I can remember in the show’s history.

Continue reading

Survivor Survival Guide: Jumping Ship

“This is ridiculous! Colby!” –Danielle

“I didn’t even see what happened. I was watching Treasure Island.” –Colby

“Jumping Ship” established its premise early: Led by Rupert, the Heroes would try to sway Sandra to their side; Russell would counter by trying to get Candice to come over to the dark side. The vote would almost solely be determined by their respective yet intertwined decisions. Both seemed receptive to the offers of the one-time opposition. Sandra still wanted Russell gone while Candice appeared persuaded by Russell’s not-quite promise to take her to the top three.

Things got more interesting after the Reward Challenge, which split the nine into three teams of three to play “Survivor Shuffle,” a form of shuffleboard. In relatively unsuspenseful fashion, Colby snuck within Russell’s puck on the game’s final turn to win it for the Blue team, which also included Danielle and Amanda. The prize had to be one of the most incongruous Survivor awards ever: a trip to author Robert Louis Stevenson’s house (now a museum) that would include a tour, a viewing of the theatrical version of Treasure Island, and a night in a bed. Danielle and Amanda instantly began thinking about the possibility of a hidden immunity idol, completely ignoring ALL the fascinating aspects of the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum, which housed original copies of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Kidnapped, AND Treasure Island! As someone who has marveled at the L. Ron Hubbard House in DC, I was really put off by their lack of interest.

Continue reading

Survivor Survival Guide: “Survivor History”

“He just handed me $1 million. I guess he can afford it.” – Russell

“I cannot believe that kid won.” – Parvati

Don’t do it, JT. Don’t do it!

JT did it.

Continuing to act under the assumption that a strong all-female alliance is running the Villains, JT made his boldest—and dumbest—move yet: He gave away his own hidden immunity idol to Russell, thinking the architect behind the Villains’ actual alliance was on the chopping block. The move could have far-reaching ramifications as the two tribes prepare to merge with five members on each side.

“Survivor History” started with some especially blatant product placement from Outback Steakhouse. The winners of the Reward Challenge—which involved balancing between two walls on increasingly small pegs—would get a feast from Outback. Now, it isn’t new for Survivor to pimp products; I’m just not used to hearing contestants say things like “We just love Outback; we always go to Outback” (Sandra) and “Anything you want it—the Outback way” (Russell). The challenge had a nice strategic twist to it where each tribe had to rank its members from strongest to weakest to determine the matchups, but the Villains won so easily that it didn’t really come into play (Jerri outlasted Colby, Sandra beat Rupert, and Courtney took care of Amanda).*

*Sandra AND Courtney contributing to a challenge victory? Outrageous!

Continue reading