Posts Tagged ‘kobe bryant’

Monday Medley

What we read while busting out our old vuvuzelas….

  • Amid the myriad things to love about this–I mean, the puns alone are worth it–I think my favorite is the idea of a story being attributed to Craig Ehlo.
  • We tried icing Tim, but it turns out he kinda likes Smirnoff Ice. Totally ruins it for everyone involved.
  • Feels like it’s been some time since we linked to some fiction. Here’s Loretta Lopez. She’s a Mexican high schooler. It’s good.

The Sports Revolution: And TWO!

Let me set the scene for you: You are playing the game of basketball, and you drive to the basket, and you are fouled on a layup attempt that you miss. You receive two free throws. The next play, the same thing occurs, except that you make the layup. You receive one free throw.

Let me reset the scene for you: Playing the game of basketball, yadda yadda, miss layup + foul = two free throws, made layup + foul = two free throws.

Wait, what?

Yes, mon ami, Pierre returns and with a vengeance. The NBA shall draw my unique ire over the course of the next several weeks, as I once again spew vitriol at the odd presumptions of American sports rules, taking aim at its most athletic and aesthetic of sports, but one that is passing away before our very eyes.

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NBA Playoff Preview: Lakers v. Jazz

WHAT’S THE DEAL? WHY ARE WE SEEING THIS BEFORE GAME 2 AND NOT GAME 1? Some of us have jobs.

YEAH, AND SOME OF US HAVE FULL-TIME JOBS: Uncool, man.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM GAME 1? Absolutely nothing. I didn’t see a minute of it. Although I suppose I “learned” that Deron Williams had no injury issues from the Denver series. So there’s that.

WE’VE SEEN THIS MATCHUP BEFORE: Yep. Third year in a row between the Lakers and Jazz, with LA winning in six in the second round in ’08 and in five in the first round in ’09.

SO LAKERS IN FOUR IN ’10? Not quite. I expect this to be every bit as close a series as the other Western Conference Semi and every bit as intense as LA’s first-rounder with Oklahoma City (which I nailed, by the way). This was probably as good a Jazz team as we’ve seen over the last four playoff seasons—before the injuries to Andrei Kirilenko and Mehmet Okur. If Kirilenko comes back during this series—as he hopes to do for Game 3—I can definitely see the Jazz making life difficult on the Lakers.

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Tiger Staring Blankly

As you almost certainly know by now, this is Tiger Woods’ latest Nike commercial—his first new ad since his marital shit hit the proverbial fan back in November, and Woods subsequently went from respected golfing machine to tired punchline.

A lot has been said about this ad. That it is a shameless instance of a company capitalizing on a troubled marriage to sell a product. That it is crass manipulation of a dead man’s voice. That it is an illustration of Tiger Woods’ narcissism. That it is a rare example of a company promoting its sponsor, as opposed to a sponsor promoting the company. That it is just downright creepy and weird. All of these may or may not be true.

What hasn’t really been said about the ad, though, is that it is a really startling and brilliant piece of marketing. Continue reading

Aught Lang Syne: Athletes of the Decade, Part II

Aught Lang Syne mercifully comes to a close today, 33 days after it started so grandiloquently with that maudlin eulogy to the Aughts. We finish by counting down our top three athletes of the decade. You can find Part I of the countdown here.

NFL

5. Torry Holt (157 G, 868 rec, 12,504 yds, 68 TD, 7 Pro Bowls)

4. Tony Gonzalez (158 G, 828 rec, 9,939 yds, 67 TD, 9 Pro Bowls)

3. LaDainian Tomlinson (140 G, 2,878 att, 12,489 yds, 138 TD, 5 Pro Bowls, 1 MVP)

2. Peyton Manning (159 G, 65.9% comp, 42,159 yds, 314 TD, 9 Pro Bowls, 3 MVPs, 1 SB MVP) Continue reading