Posts Tagged ‘texas’

Monday Medley

What we read while the Supreme Court forced us to get gay married…

Monday Medley

What we read while celebrating Veinte y Nueve de Abril…

  • Read this, and you’ll never have to read anything else about Tim Tebow again.

NPI Comes Alive!: The Double Bonus Podcast

Welcome to NPI Comes Alive! It’s the podcast branch of the NPI network. Our first edition brings back The Double Bonus, with Tim and John S finally breaking down this college basketball season. Click here to listen.

The Worst College Football Season Ever

Perhaps we all should have seen this coming from the start. I found myself unusually excited for this college football season (likely due to the misery surrounding the Mets’ baseball season) and, for the first time ever, actually tuned in to the season-opening Thursday night game between South Carolina and North Carolina State. It was a horrid football game, the kind of game where neither team deserves to win.

Two days later, BYU scored one of two big upsets of this college football season,* beating Oklahoma with the help of a Sam Bradford injury.

*Washington 13, USC 10 the other.

The tone for the season was set.

Here are the six worst things about the 2009 College Football Season:

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The Top 173 Things in History: #155. Manifest Destiny

Note the Native Americans and buffalo fleeing the “Westerners.”

Let’s call a spade a spade: Manifest Destiny was a pretty scumbag thing to do.

—Hey, this land you’re on, we’re gonna have to take it.

—But we were here first.

—Yeah, we know that. The thing is, and I know this kind of sucks, but it’s our destiny to have it.

—Your destiny?

—I know, man. We wish it were different, too. But yeah, this is our land now.

This was imperialism at its most boldfaced. Come on, like we even tried to come up with a valid justification? Because let’s be honest: Divine Providence isn’t a valid justification for anything.* This was nothing more than an older brother deciding he wanted the couch AND the remote control. And that’s when being there first or even “calling” it go out the window.

*And I’m the religious one in this group.

And here’s my biggest problem with Manifest Destiny: the syntax. It’s a verb with a direct object, so it sounds ridiculous in sentences. It’s not even like, “Mission: Manifesr Destiny” or “Operation: Manifest Destiny.” Think of it in candid terms by replacing “Manifest Destiny” with “Take Land.” Now try to respect this sentence in a history textbook: “The United States, under the direction of Take Land, expanded westward to the Pacific Ocean.” Impossible.*

*You can make the argument that “manifest” is meant as an adjective, meaning something akin to “evident.” Fine: “The United States, under the direction of Evident Destiny, expanded westward to the Pacific Ocean.” It still sounds terrible.

And I, for one, would never trade proper syntax for Texas.